Trust.

Isn't it interesting...the dynamics of relationships and communications between people. What about the dynamics that an individual has with them self? If their self dynamics are off then dynamics with others for sure will be off.  I have always said be careful what you wish for. My husband always says, "You can wish in one hand and crap in the other"...(self explanatory). Someone recently asked me if I could have anything in the world at the moment she asked me what would it be? I stood there and took a deep breath contemplating my answer. Took several deep breaths. That was a large question. She thought I would say a million dollars or something. Nope, I don't need more money, it causes more headaches. Now don't get me wrong here, I would love to pay off somethings, but that doesn't mean I want a million dollars. Difference there... (and just so you know, I type like I talk so I use alot of "...") ;-)


So what did I say to her? I thought about it while she threw ideas out at me... which I declined. I said in the end what I really wanted at that moment was peace. Peace for certain people who needed it. For them to know sitting in a room and being with them self in silence was ok. To love them self was ok. Peace, it seemed like such a general thing to wish for. Large and small at the same time. 


What do you think 5 fundamental elements of a relationship should be? Surely there is more than 5 but we should start small for now... So as I was just playing with our new dog I came up with one important one. Trust. We recently adopted a Rhodesian Ridgeback. She was abused and from a puppy mill used to produce the breed but not producing large enough puppies. (Um she is only 45 lbs...what did they think she was capable of.) So she came from the south and flew in the belly of a plane for about 10 hours. Then she got in the car with us for a hour and a half ride home. That entire time she held her bladder and buttox...Amazing Dog....she let it go in the kitchen embarrased and scared once we got home. We got her in January. She was 10lbs under weight, not properly whelped from her puppies, and so obviously depressed. Her face said it all. She does not trust us at all. She was afraid of every noise, anything that moved, us, the other dogs we have. The fear in her eyes made us so sad. What had she been through? We did some research and put two and two together and realized she probably never knew all this stuff we were about to throw at her. Freedom of roaming the yard and house. More dogs and socializing. KIDS- who get loud. A cat. ( The breed is bred to hunt lions in Africa...lol) She didn't know what to make of the grass or the snow. She is two years old. We had some very tough times over the past few months. Came close to giving up. My husband wanted a running partner, she is scared of him. But we felt if we give up what will happen to her, let's  keep trying. We tried a lot of things.  But what it took mostly of from us over the past few months was patience. What it took from her was gallons of trust which had obviously been broken by humans horribly. Yesterday she very slowly and methodically went to my husband while he was at the table. She smelled his hand and licked it. HUGE mountain of trust she had to climb for that tiny bit of "oh my god she licked my hand!!!!" (I forgot to mention from the beginning she was not food motivated...so nothing motivated her to do anything) Yeaaahhhh......


So Trust would be a fundamental....How about order of these fundamentals? Do they have an order? Does the order change on the relationship? Does it change form day to day? I have no doubt in my mind it does. People are dynamic. Relationships are dynamic. What happens when you put two dynamic things together? Is it like dynamite? lol....sometimes.
The definition of dynamic is so simple yet so interesting.  It is constant change or progress, activity, effective action. Oooooo- effective action. I like that one. Reeling it back in the the fundamentals...For the dog- her first one had to be trust then the others would come. How does this relate to us? Well, what is your first fundamental in the first relationship that comes to mind that is having a problem? Focus on that fundamental and let's fix it. That requires communication...( a branch in the tree of trust. ) A branch that bends and breaks so often, yet we tend the tree so it grows back, or we just stand back and look at the broken limb and wonder. Better to move and do something than stand and wonder or be angry. Standing produces nothing. Movement produces change...


Oh how we love change. I say embrace change, hard as it may be...it's always changing. Everything is always changing. So let's get another fundamental tomorrow since I have to get dinner going...I'll give you a hint...the world has lost a lot of it in the rush of everyday life.




(I actually learned something from that last paragraph as I wrote it. I have to embrace the change, hard as it may be if it comes. It's sometimes like a freight train, it takes a mile or two before it actually stops. So I have some embracing to do...won't be fun for sure, but it is what it is.) 


And the ending thought today is that today is nearly done. I am grateful that I had the chance to experience it. It brought me several pearls. One being a HUGE hug from my husband. I bid you peace. I hope it finds you.