This is what we have. Here and now. You are only guaranteed this moment. Nothing more nothing less. Make it yours. Make it the best for you. Give it the best of you. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all gave it our best and we made the best out of what we received...
I read an article in Psychology Today recently. It was about Negative thinking and negative actions. How when we talk negative, or let negative things happen to us, we are burning that into our brain. Our bodies chemicals change when faced with negative. What really got me was that for every negative thing scared onto out brain ( and that is what happens) we have to do or think 3 positives to undo it. The article was amazing. There is another aritcle about living in a positive way and ways of leading into living that way and how to practice positive. Another very interesting read.
We all have the same choices when we wake up and put our feet on the floor in the mornings. We can choose to embrace what the day brings us or we can choose to kick, hit, and punch every thing it brings us, fighting it every step of the way. Even if it is a positive thing...some people still knock it down. Learned or not? I don't know, but I do know that we all have choices.....The past two days I tried something...I said to myself and possibly to the universe because I think I actually said it out loud...I am going to make this my day. I am going to have a good time, I am going to enjoy it, because I can. It worked. I have never done that before. I have good days don't get me wrong...but never did I say I am going to make this happen. It was a wonderful surprise. I suggest anyone give it a try. Only you have the power over you.
In other news...nothing. No progress. Just stagnant, like the swamps on the bayou. No one is moving. Nothing is happening. Although, I was asked to move so I guess that is something. I am still being begged to go and see my mother's therapist with her. My father is perpetuating the situation like crazy. Making all kinds of excuses for her. Putting himself back in the middle of her and I again, where I asked him to step out of and let it be between her and I ...
So I met with my therapist. So sure I could go to her's with her...But I have to set my boundaries. I have to know what I want out of this. I can surely tell you want I DON'T want and that is for things to gloss over and go back to the way they were functioning all those years...NOPE, no part of that is wanted. I would also like to know what expectations they have of me. What is there to gain out of this for them? What is there for me to gain? How is this beneficial?
So I am left with my strength and courage and balance and a decision. Do I want to go and meet her there...should I soften since she is unable? Even though I feel like I have done that my entire life. I have thought about this in the quiet of my head for the past two days almost daily...what should I do? I have run scenarios in my head of road blocks and outcomes. I am not exhausted by it in the least which is a strange feeling. I am at ease with the whole thing actually...However my insides are telling me not go jump right in and go. I am holding onto that for now, because I believe when those feelings arise, you should heed to them.
So ( it seems I like to keep starting paragraphs that way.) I am just going to walk around and hold this by it's hand for a while. Walk with it. Sit with it...what does it have to offer me? Will it put me out of balance? Will it take away my peace? Because I am just as important as anyone else in this dysfunctional mess. We are all important. Our should are all important. Our balance is all important. Sometimes, though, people forget that about themselves and that is when things get hard.
Today I go to work with my husband. That was such a nice gift from the day. We haven't worked together in many months, but it was wonderful to be in the kitchen with him again, and just dancing around each other and having fun and being silly, all the while creating something we love that makes people happy. One of the best days in a long time. I seized it, saw it coming and grabbed on. I hope the universe brings you a day like that really soon. We all could use them. So if you see it heading your way...reach out for it.
May you have a peace and joy filled day.
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